So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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