Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
