she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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