This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
