I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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