I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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