ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
