Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
