I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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