Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
