We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
