Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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