youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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