then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
