She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
