Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
