I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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