9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize