My friends, they love my intelligence
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
