Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
