Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
