haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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