I hope mine doesn't look like that
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize