I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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