I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
