Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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