i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
