It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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