This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
