he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
