Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
