everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
