I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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