well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
