probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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