I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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