Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my shit smells like andre
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
