And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
