Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
