I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We're too hungover to prance.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
