I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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