i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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