Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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