Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
