So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize