Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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