Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
