JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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