Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
