Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
