Just mADE A PArabola og urine
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
