It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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