so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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