nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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