didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
