STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
