I wish I could teleport
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
