Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
