Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
