We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
