So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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