just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
