I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
