as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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