wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
