First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
