He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
