I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
