Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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